As we are learning, driving the long distances in Australia isn’t always long flat stretches of termite mounds, wandering stock and red dust. Sometimes there are craggy knolls, winding paths over ranges and even hills, but so far no mountains.

We leave the barramundi barren rivers of Normanton and head east along the Savannah Way towards Cairns. There isn’t much to capture interest for the first 300kms except for a surprisingly decent cup of coffee in minuscule Croydon (population 258). The guy serving us had worked at Parrot Dog Brewery in Wellington – talking to him is the nearest we’ve come to a decent craft beer since we’ve been here. At Georgetown (population 328) we turn south to an even smaller settlement at Forsayth (population 129) so we can visit to Cobbold Gorge down another 45km of dirt road.

The family that owns the property had lived on the station for years before discovering the gorge, and it’s young geology – only 14,000 years old. They have wasted no time in developing a tourist attraction. The gorge tour start with a 4WD truck ride for 15 minutes across a dry river gulch and lumpy bush tracks; an hour’s walk up on to the limestone escarpment above the gorge follows. The guide treats us to frequent stops to describe the traditional uses of different plants and bush tucker, none of which I would recognise again, except for a small red berry commonly known as the Rosary Pea. It packs a deadly poison called Abrin – identical to Ricin (remember the umbrella tip assassination?) but toxic by two orders of magnitude. And we were worried about snakes.

The gorge goes from narrow to very narrow, being only a couple of metres wide at some spots.   We see a few fresh water crocodiles sunning themselves on the boulders, but they aren’t bothered by us sliding by in our electric boat. You can only imagine how fast the water powers through such a narrow space in the wet season.

As we continue our trip east towards Cairns we don’t realise we are steadily climbing on the Tablelands until we reach Ravenshoe, where a sign proudly announces it is the highest town in Queensland at 930 metres (3,050 feet). From there the road descends rather more steeply and more windily than the ascent.  It was a beautiful, if heart-stopping, drive towing a caravan on one of the windiest roads we’ve ever been on.  Anywhere. 

Unfortunately I’d driven the first half of the trip so I had to listen to ongoing refrains of “these turns are tight” and “I wonder if there was another road” and “this’d be great on a motorbike”, while mopping the brow of the driver.

It transpires there is another road further north, the one the sensible people towing caravans take. The one we are on – thanks Nav – the Gillies Highway, we learn is to close over the upcoming weekend for the Targa rally: the 22km section with 612 bends is among “the most exciting roads in the country” for rally racing. We know why. We are now fully prepared to enter a caravan sprint over the Swiss Alps.

As we transverse the Atherton Tablelands, we drive through dairying country, and it feels like home seeing Friesian cows grazing in paddocks, instead of Brahmins foraging through scrubland. Then as we hit the flat land it all changes again and we drive through acres of sugarcane farms. Arriving in Cairns is a minor culture shock after the small outback settlements along the Savannah Way. I mean, there are traffic lights and double lane roads. And buildings several stories high.

Here’s a map of our progress to date. The bottom circle around the New South Wales/Queensland border is our initial trip, and the spot closest to the border is Stanthorpe, where we stayed with friends on their vineyard, and which is now the area ravaged by fires. North of Tweed Heads through to Cairns is the current progress.

We’re now slowly working our way down the beaches from Cairns to Townsville before turning west again towards the Centre. We’ll take the Flinders Highway then turn left when we get to the Stuart Highway which runs from Darwin to Adelaide. This is the sort of country where people disappear, get murdered, and die of stupidness, so stay close to your favourite news station – we may become famous.