I arrive in Tiranë, Albania, to meet up with two friends for a ten day adventure. Our guide/driver meets us at the airport and we drive north to Shkoder, near the Montenegrin border. We’re here for a couple of days to get out into the Albanian wilderness, with its mountains, lakes and rivers. If you, like me, wonder why Eastern Europeans refer to “the nature” instead of just saying nature, it’s partly direct translation as these languages use definite articles (the), and partly a cultural nuance. “Nature” is often thought of as a specific lived place outside the city — forests, mountains, rivers, countryside — rather than an abstract ecological concept.

So we drive north to Theth National Park in the Albanian Alps to explore the nature. To give you an idea of the road, it’s only about 70 kilometres but takes over two hours. We aren’t on a highway, or even a standard road – it’s more of a prolonged negotiation with gravity. Our driver assures us the road is better than it used to be. The mind boggles. We wind up the mountains in a series of perilous hairpin bends to the summit at 1,666 metres before descending, every corner offering either a magnificent abyss and early death, or a herd of goats regarding us with mild contempt. That’s when we can see something. The day begins with misty rain and we reassure ourselves it will clear. Of course it will clear. Mountain weather is famously changeable. Indeed, it changes from wet to wetter. By the time we arrive, the clouds are unwelcome guests who have taken over the spare room and refuse to leave.





Our grand plan is to hike to the Blue Eye, a celebrated alpine spring – the photographs suggest a lost paradise. Unfortunately the reality involves another hour long hike each way, clambering over rocks and boulders polished by rain into something closely resembling an accident compensation claim. We briefly weigh scenic beauty in the unyielding rain against maintaining structurally sound limbs and decide in favour of the latter.
In the village there’s one thing of particular interest: Kulla e Ngujimit, the Lock-In Tower, once used in blood feuds as “a place of self-security. The guilty person waits the irritability to be substituted by reasonable actions.” I suspect this benign description, sounding more like a mindfulness retreat from homicidal neighbours, is something of an understatement. Reasonable actions in the Albanian Alps historically had a fairly flexible definition, and once the occupant stepped out the offended party would settle the blood feud with, well, blood. I enter the tower and climb the precarious ladder up three floors to find the occupant would at least have a nice view – if it wasn’t raining.


Our next excursion is an almost perfectly Albanian travel experience. What makes it funny in retrospect is the sheer contrast between expectation and delivery. The Shala river cruise is billed as a must do. We imagine a couple of hours cruising on a scenic river, albeit one that’s part of a hydro system. However something seems to be lost in translation, and it turns out we’ve committed six hours of our lives we’ll never get back. We cruise an hour and a half up river through a lovely uninhabited landscape of steep canyons and turquoise water to arrive at a Balkan remix of a bargain Mediterranean beach club. Instead of the serene riverside wilderness we expect, there’s umbrellas, beach loungers, bad wine, and aggressively upbeat Albanian pop music. The whole place has the slightly surreal atmosphere of a package holiday accidentally dropped into the middle of a canyon. Three hours later we retrace the river journey back to the dock where tour groups disembark and dash for their transport. It’s relatively quiet at this time of year but Summer must be chaotic. The entire expedition is, naturally, bookended by several hours of narrow, winding, white-knuckle driving.
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At least it’s not raining.


























































































































