Let me disabuse you of that notion by describing a day in the life of hapless travellers trying to register a vehicle. As expected, we’re unable to gain any traction in re-registering our Landcruiser in New South Wales, and we travel on to Adelaide where the car is stored. We have been introduced to friends of friends who are hospitable, extremely helpful, and have an enormous wine cellar.

Monday 3rd May 2021

0900: Our friend drops us at a Service Centre and we stand in line for 10 minutes waiting to enter the building having completed the requisite scanning in and wringing of hands.

0910: A very helpful (yes, really) employee listens to our tale of woe and buries us in forms. First, we need a South Australian client number, without which we can do nothing else. We also need an Unregistered Vehicle Permit so we can drive the car from the storage unit to an inspection centre. The concierge issues us ticket #521 – they are serving #503.

1000: #521 TO COUNTER 4! The service person looks over the form then asks for proof of South Australian residential address – a power bill, lease agreement or similar. We are living in a caravan and travelling. You need proof of address. We are living in a caravan. You need proof of address. This parrot is dead. They finally agrees we can give a verified bank statement as we have an Australian bank account. Unable to change our address from NZ to Australia on the app, so we Uber to the bank, change address, Uber back to Service Centre. this is the fastest and most efficient part of the whole day.

1032: Return to the beginning – do not pass Go and do not collect $200 – ticket #565

1058: #565 TO COUNTER 4! Everything is in order and we pay $48 for a one day temporary car rego and Unregistered Vehicle Permit. On this permit we have to detail the route we will take from the storage unit to the Inspection centre. I am losing the will to live.

1120: Kind friend collects us from the Service Centre and delivers us to the storage unit.

1220: The faithful Landcruiser starts first turn, no problem. Incidentally, the car has increased in value since we bought it: they are not making 8 cylinder models any more – we’ve already had two people ask if we want to sell it.

1247: We arrive at Vehicle Inspection Centre, a short drive from the storage unit – don’t tell, but we took a different route. There are A LOT of people standing around clutching papers and looking hopeful.

1255: We fill in another form and wait. And wait, And wait.

1355: It is like we’ve won Lotto when Scott’s name is called. From what we understand this should just be an identification inspection as we already own the car. Should take, what, 10 minutes?

1405: For a reason undisclosed to us, the car needs to go up on the hoist, which has a car on it and that car has cobwebs it’s been up there so long.

1415: If we don’t mind the inspector driving it, he’ll take it next door to another hoist. PLEASE, take our first born with it, just get it done.

1435: Job done – we get more papers to take back to the Service Centre. Fortunately there’s one 5 mins down the road.

1440: There’s too many people waiting inside, so we wait outside. Only one person is allowed in so I bid a tearful farewell to Scott, wish him luck and send him to represent us on this last leg of the search for the Holy Grail.

1545: My conquering hero arrives back at the car brandishing new number plates. We are road legal.

1610: Arrive back at our friends’ house with a registered motor vehicle – it only took one day out of our lives. And cost $1020.